Why I'm not bitter
I have had the opportunity to work with some really great people over the years, including my colleagues at SDMS, Bluestone Software, Hewlett-Packard, SAP, Princeton Softech and most recently, IBM. However, I have also had to deal with my share of mergers, acquisitions, restructuring, and downsizing.
I have witnessed the negative effects that these events have on employees, and I have experienced it directly myself. During the trying times at SDMS preceding the shutdown, my colleagues and I would jokingly conclude our complaints about the situation with the comment "... but I'm not bitter." We couldn't help but make fun of ourselves because we sounded so miserable.
Then again, years later when HP was letting former Bluestone employees go in droves, I found myself making the same comment. After venting my frustration in a long-winded rant, I'd sometimes hear how stuck and miserable I sounded. I'd end up losing my self righteous steam and hastily conclude with a self-mocking "...but I'm not bitter."
But at both companies, even though it was tough to wait it out wondering when exactly the axe would fall, it was a relief when the inevitable eventually occurred. It was always time to move on. And not just because the business had spun itself out or the company was moving in a new direction or the bubble had burst. But because it was time for me, personally, to make a change. To begin again. To try something new.
When I look back, I see that what I thought was a disaster actually led directly to a professional success. SDMS closing its doors was devastating to me. But it led directly to my position at Bluestone Software, which was the most regarding professional experience of my life — far above anything I had accomplished or experienced previously. That opportunity never would have presented itself had SDMS not closed its doors.
Without change, life couldn't be. Nothing stays the same for very long. It's much healthier to recognize this and surrender to it. (To actually celebrate it is even better.) To deny or resist change is to deny and resist life itself. It is an unhealthy way to live and a recipe for misery. If your happiness is dependent upon things staying the same, you will most definitely become unhappy!
I try my best not to fear change and I make uncertainty my friend whenever I can. I recognize that a fear reaction is like a gentle nudge telling me to move in the direction of whatever scares me. And no matter what ups and downs may arise throughout my future career, I doubt very much that I will be bitter about it.
